DURBAN, KWAZULU-NATAL, SOUTH AFRICA – The wife of South African batting ace Hashim Amla has just given birth and sent shockwaves through the medical world. Little Hamzah Asadullah Amla, now only three hours old, was born with an unusual appendage: in addition to the expected 10 fingers and 10 toes, he exited his mother’s womb wielding a Gray-Nicolls Quantum Carbo junior-size bat.
Attending obestetrician, Dr. Marlene de Beers, MBBS, FRCS was floored by the shock of seeing the cricket-ready newborn and could complete the birth procedure only after having an IV line placed in her own arm to restore fluids and electrolytes.
“Having delivered over a thousand babies, I’ve seen just about everything there is to see: club foots, cleft palates, little tadpole tails, you name it. Shoot, last week I delivered a baby girl with two vaginas. But I’ve never seen a fully equipped cricket player before!”
Baby Hamzah and his mother are resting in good health, and Hamzah will be studied by leading experts from the Royal College of Medicine.
The College’s lead researcher in Embryology, Dr. Anirudha Kumar Subramanium, was enthralled by the unusual birth. “We’ve seen cases of precocious puberty before due to adrenal hyperplasias, and this would explain why baby Hamzah could have been born with his father’s beard. But we need to investigate further to determine if there is a biochemical or genetic basis for how he came to be born with a cricket bat.”
The Quantum Carbo bat that baby Hamzah was born with retails for £130 (US $199) in London but going beyond mere price, it is a wonder how the bat was in the womb for nine months. Even Mrs. Amla paused to reflect on it.
“I knew Allah had blessed us with a truly special child because I felt strange kicks beginning in my second trimester. Of course, I didn’t know they were strange since this is my first child, but my own mother is a veteran of 11 pregnancies and after she put her hand to my belly she said, ‘This does not feel like just a kick, this is more like a flowing cover drive.'”
Baby Hamzah was last seen in the nursery scraping his right foot on his crib’s blanket in what appeared to be a guard-marking motion before looking around at the other neonates’ cribs in an effort to locate the gaps in the room.
In related news: Congratulations to new father, Hashim Amla!
“It’s a special time for Hashim and his family… hopefully the young one can hold a bat like him one day, South Africa could do with another Hashim Amla in the future,” Proteas ODI captain, AB de Villiers said.
(More than you know, AB, more than you know.)